In Cambodia, You See Some Shit

I have been living in Phnom Penh for three weeks now and I have come to understand that this place has its own special way of working and that in this country, you see some crazy shit. Lately I have been going to work, exploring the city a bit, and going clubbing with da boyz, and it is starting to feel all caj and normal but then suddenly I will see something that is so jarring that I will be like, "Oh yeah, I'm in South-East Asia and it's nuts here."

Let's start with something really messed up. Jeff and I were at work trying to save lives or whatever when we heard this dog yelping outside. We go to the window and see two dogs stuck together. It looked as if their bums were attached. It also looked like one of the dogs didn't have a leg and it was really confusing.

We watched them struggle for about five minutes, not being able to figure it out. We didn't know if someone had done this to them or they were having sex and got stuck - although it didn't look like doggy style. We sat back down and that's when we heard a big yelp and a splat. We went back to the window and they were detached but there was a big brown stain on the concrete and the black dog was licking his tail. We were later told by someone that this happens a fair bit here - sickos force a dog's tail into another dog's butt. We even saw this same thing when we were on a tuk-tuk ride to the city. How disturbing and cruel is that? You also see trucks and vans loaded with dead chickens and cages on the backs of motorbikes crammed with baby pigs - but that is sort of to be expected here and not as sickening. 

A big group of us also went to go see a 'lady boy' show while we were out drinking one night. It was probably the worst show I have ever seen. Everyone looked displeasing to the eye and was really shrill. One of the songs sounded like it was Yoko Ono screaming for three minutes straight. It sort of killed the night because it made us want to go home and hide under the covers. I mean, just look:

Is this a sick joke?

A few times we have been out drinking and have had something happen that completely killed our buzz. One night we were pre-drinking on a tuk-tuk to the casino to try our luck with the Nanna Iris Special. The road suddenly got very congested and we thought there may have been a protest up ahead. Instead, we saw a moto driver sprawled on the road with a fatal head-wound. It was quite distressing and we sat in silence in the tuk-tuk needing a few minutes to just process what we saw before we could even think about having fun. Apparently there are five road fatalities a day in Cambodia, with an average of three per day in Phnom Penh. 

Luckily, we have not been involved in any serious accidents - but we have had a few people be mugged. On Saturday morning I went with Connor to a local police station to be a witness in a police report for his stolen iPhone. He had already spent a whole afternoon trying to get the police to write up a report but they said they needed a witness to the event. So I came in and they asked me a bunch of questions about the mugging and the mugger's appearance. We told the officer that the suspect was Cambodian, male, slim, short, with short-dark hair. In case you haven't been to Cambodia, that is the description of literally every single man in the entire country, so I hope it was helpful for them. The funny thing was though, to get the police to do anything you had to 'tip' them at least $3 per document. I guess it's technically a bribe but that's how this country works. And then we had to go to the foreign police, 'tip' them, and have them write out the whole report again in English. I think it took Connor about 10 hours to finally get the police report… and then he almost left it on a cafe table. 

Zoos also work a little bit differently here. On Sunday Connor and I went to a wildlife conservation park where most of the animals were endangered and had been rescued from poachers. The zoo was also inhabited by gangs of wild monkey that tried to attack us at every turn. We were going to go feed the monkey some bananas but as soon as we walked near them they started hissing at us and looked poised to attack. We threw our bananas at them and ran to the safety of our tuk-tuk (you drive around the zoo because it's huge). That's when the monkeys started fighting each other. They were mothers as well, so that just made them more vicious. 

Monkey fight club

But how cute is the baby!!!

Even the caged monkeys attacked us. One of the gibbons lunged at Connor's camera as he tried to take a photo through the cage. It actually scared the shit out of us. The tiger was also really angry and roared at us while we snapped a million photos. A part of me liked that the animals weren't sedated. The other part of me wanted a bit more distance and a bit more metal between me and the angry animals. But this is Cambodia and the whole attitude of the zoo was very 'whatever'. I did get to feed an elephant some sugarcane, which was pretty cool. Note the 'danger' sign in the photo and the flimsy fence between us:

While you do see some shit in Cambodia, you also see some pretty nice stuff as well. The kids are always smiling and waving, and the sunsets are always pretty spectacular:

Classic Cambodia

I'm still not going to bother getting up early to watch a sunrise, however, that shit is just ridiculous.